Sh*t Customers Say (Part 1)

By StealthNo Comments

Because I work with many end users who don’t know what they’re doing, I have decided to create a compilation of the stupid things customers ask us and things they say to us. This is part one of what I hope to be many more as the IQ of customers goes down while technology gets simpler.

As many people know I work in the video surveillance (CCTV) industry. I do technical support for a large company and even though we cater primarily to companies that install our product, it is often that we will get an end user calling in for some help because they just don’t understand how it works.

It is a known fact that people just stop thinking when they pick up the phone to get help.

Without further rambling, here we go! These quotes are unedited customer intelligence with specifics edited out, and of course some [helping] edits added in for readability/understandability.

“Do I need my DVR’s [IP] address to view it using your application on iPhone?”

“I am disappointed that [company’s] cameras require power to work.”

“No one told me I would need an Internet connection to view my cameras online!”

“I’m clicking on the camera button to save a screenshot, but it asks me for a file name. What does it want? I don’t understand!”

“How do I print? Oh, there’s a print button. Will that make it print?”

Customer: “Why did the picture print black and white?
Me: “Does your printer print color?”
Customer: “I don’t think it does.”

Customer: “Can I view my cameras on my iPad?”
Me: “You can use our [appname] application, which is available from the Apple App Store.”
Customer: “But what is the app name? I don’t know what I’m looking for!”

“Why does my computer stop recording video when I close the software?”

Customer: “I can’t connect to my DVR remotely anymore.”
Me: “What is the address you are trying to use to access your DVR?”
Customer: “742 Evergreen Terrace, Springf….”

“You mean to tell me you can’t help me with [some other company]’s cameras? This is bullshit. I’m never buying your product again.”

(Looking at a remote control with arrow-shaped buttons)
“Y’all should really label these buttons, I don’t know which one goes which way!”

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